The Wicked Writing Blog

Welcome to the home of writing award ideas and practical advice for story contest success. Fun and sheer tomfoolery are never far away. Feel free to add your comments. (To comment on a post, or see the comments there, simply click on its title. To see all the comments to date, click on the buttons 'Best' or 'Community' below each post.)

 

Is it worth being an author? Truly?

April 12, 2013

Here’s a dangerous game. A long time ago, I went to a literary festival and asked a newly successful novelist before an audience of her fans: “Was it truly, honestly worth it?” The room fell silent. Everyone stared at me, the heretic who had made a rude noise in church.

“What do you mean?” The author looked at her agent. He studied the ceiling. “If you mean in money terms,” she said hesitantly “of course, not.

Gasps from the audience. “But in terms of my self-esteem, yes!

The audience relaxed. “Not least, I have the pleasure of standing here before you wonderful people today” she glared at me “so somebody can ask me that damn fool question.” Laughter and applause.

It was a good question.

Later, I apologised to her. And she apologised to me. “It was actually a good question.” She smiled. “It took me 15 years to get my first novel published and even that was a fluke.”

“But you’ve just received a $150,000 advance,” I said. “Surely that makes it all worthwhile?”

She shook her head. “I had to write and throw away five novels in that time, more than one million words. On an hourly basis, I’d have been better off working at McDonalds.”

Then she sold me her novel.

No, I won’t tell you her name, though you’d know it. Her novel was turned into a film and she now tops the bestseller lists. She might answer my question differently today. But the truth remains: only a few authors make any significant money from their novels. The upside is, if you accept that truth from the start, it doesn’t matter.

Is it the truth?

Four out of five published novels by new authors lose money and most new authors never earn out their advance (J A Konrath, The Newbies’ Guide to Publishing, 2011). Fulltime novelists in the UK make 33% less than the average industrial wage (The Society of Authors). And most mid-list authors have to moonlight to pay the rent. (Check the tutors at writing foundations. Why else are they there?)

But there’s another ‘truth’. From the moment they see their first novel on a bookshop shelf, very few authors would choose another trade. Money or not.

In September 1999, I nearly missed my plane when I spotted my first published book on sale at Heathrow airport. I wanted to stop every passenger and cry: “That’s my book!”. My wife had to drag me away. I went on to publish eight more books across twelve years, both fiction and non-fiction. One of them, The Lazy Kitchen Gardener - a work of fiction despite its title - netted me around £90,000 ($150,000) in year one.

Has the money been important to me? Of course. Writing is my principal source of income in retirement. But I’d have done it, money or not. Why? For the sheer joy of ‘meeting’ those thousands of readers who have mailed me, signed up for my newsletters and, in recent years, subscribed to my on-line writing classes. I’m still corresponding with folk who bought my first book in 1999.

That explains the mystery of the Blog Dance.


I’d long wondered why authors, otherwise sane, would periodically embark on a gavotte of mutual admiration, making guest posts on each others’ sites or doing blog tours. "What inspired you to write [insert title]?"

They couldn’t be doing it merely to sell a handful of books at a few dollars each, could they? Or to chase that will o’ the wisp, an extra point on their Google page rank? The ratio of effort to monetary reward would make no sense.

Then I realized, the pay off is not principally financial. It lies in validation, recognition and self-esteem. Whether a bestseller or newbie, a published author creates a fan club and joins a community of peers. They’ve ‘arrived’. The respect is priceless. Money is a bonus.

A novelist creates a world for the reader. Then the reader creates a world for the novelist to live in.

So is it worth it, truly, honestly? Of course, it is! If only so you can attend a literary festival one day, stand on a podium and hear somebody ask you that damn fool question.


Why do you write? Is it for money or fun - or some other reason? And is the effort truly, honestly worth it? Add a comment and share your thoughts with us!
 

How To (Really) Sell Your Novel - The Shocking Truth

April 5, 2013
How do you sell a novel? That’s the number one problem for every self-publishing author and it probably accounts for all the other numbers too. Unless your novel sells, you may well be a writer but you’re not a novelist. Here are four ways that don’t work.

1. Banner ads don’t work.

Many sites will sell you a banner, in a choice of sizes, to promote your book and each at a fancy price. None will yield a profit. You might not even get a single click-through. Why? The average click-...

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How Author, 80, Won $130,000 For A Debut Novel

April 2, 2013

If your novel has been banging on agents’ doors for years and got nowhere take heart from Berwick Coates, an English author who this week nailed down a $130,000 deal and a two-book contract at age 80.

His historical thriller The Last Conquest was snapped up by one of the world’s largest publishers Simon & Schuster after Coates had failed to impress agents with several previous novels. “They were clearly not being read,” he said.

A retired history teacher, Coates succeeded only when ...

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How To Create A Brilliant Detective

March 28, 2013

Please welcome our guest this week, doctor and novelist Eva Bell. Eva has made a special study of that most alluring, yet most difficult, of genres - the detective story. Anyone can write a whoddunit but how do we make our sleuth compelling and credible? Eva shows us five ways to do it.

In this 21st century, when science and technology have made crime detection easy and precise, the old, spindly-legged spinster like Miss Marple is an oddity. So is Baronness Emmuska Orczy’s “Old Man in t...

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Voice: That Elusive but Critical Ingredient of Compelling Fiction

March 15, 2013
This idea-packed master class in how to develop your own unique authorial 'voice' comes from Jodie Renner, editor and author. Jodie has written a classic guide to great story writing, Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power. Discover how to make your stories resonate with power, by following her tips below!

Voice – what is it exactly?

Literary agents and acquiring editors always say they’re looking for fiction with a compelling, unique, fresh, natural voice. Then when asked to define it...

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How (Not) To Kill Your Story In Its Cradle

February 14, 2013
Ever driven a car round a bend and seen another one heading straight at you? At 60mph? It happened to me last week. I swerved into a ditch and it clipped my wing mirror as it bulleted past. Not a good way to start a day but a great place to begin a story…


Why do so many writers get their opening paragraphs wrong?


Here are five big mistakes new authors make - and how to avoid them - based on my experience of judging 3500+ entries to date in the Writers’ Village story contest.


Mist...


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Furtive Dreams & Secrets - Tips From A Mills & Boon Author

February 7, 2013

Please welcome our guest this week, Mills & Boon author Tiffany Reisz. Tiffany shows us a brilliantly simple way to bring our characters alive, in any genre. She uses it to wonderful effect in her own best-selling novels which, she says, 'inhabit a sexy shadowy world'. Now her secret is yours!

I had originally titled this blog post: "Creating 3D characters the Lazy Way." And I admit I owe Dr John for that. He said titles that include the phrase "the lazy way" get more readers. But the title ...


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John Yeoman

Dr John Yeoman, MA Oxon, MPhil, PhD Creative Writing, FSRS*  is a UK university tutor in the short story. He has 42 years experience as a successful commercial writer, newspaper editor and one-time chairman of a major PR consultancy.

He has published innumerable works of humour, some intended to be humorous.

* Founder, the Society for the Rehabilitation of the Semi-colon